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paging doktor love

paging doktor love?
Jul 14 '10

Paging Doktor Love?

WANTED: Art, GMOD pictures, title designs to use as a header image for the new layout?

Jul 13 '10

Mister Fix-It

hurr hurr
Part #1 of 3

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Jun 10 '10

these ghosts know me by name

title: these ghosts know me by name
pairing: nick/ellis
rating: PG
warnings: angst, you can’t leave old ghosts behind


The light of the television set transfers with every flicker, broken perception or unfinished signals that float through empty space, and it does nothing but highlight his every movement. It almost weighs him down and the effect of stop motion almost contradicts the vibrant action of Ellis playing outside in the cheap motel parking lot. Nick wonders if he knows? If Ellis ever lets gravity slow him down and stops to think that he reminds Nick so much of that child he lost, the one who’s name comes out in dreams and who’s so rarely mentioned, just like the identities of people that were lost to the epidemic?

A high pitched laugh vibrates of the stale motel walls as he hears children calling out to Ellis to run faster before he’s caught. He closes his eyes and behind the static he can almost fool himself into thinking that the noise outside fits into the silent pictures he’s long since buried. The child’s laughter isn’t quite there but it’s enough and he can feel the phantom touches of fingers skittering over his elbow, tugging playfully before they’re out of sight and he’s running through grass to catch a small child.

The noise had long since ceased to exist and all he can hear is Ellis’ voice and smell asphalt coupled with the faintest hint of grass as a thin veil of weight settles against his side. The television set makes all those inconsistencies in the walls melt away and for a moment he can almost see the facade of false beauty in those imperfections that had been so stark against the afternoon sun.

He’s not there but Nick can fool himself as he sinks his fingers into the top of Ellis hair and feels the gentle brush of fingertips on his elbow.

Jun 10 '10

rorschachsjournal attempts to write fic

Title: Will And Teddy’s Homosexual Adventure

Rating: PG-17?

Pairing: Will/Teddy (Scout OC/Scout OC) 

Notes: Written in response to @skwigelf’s ‘Contemplating Constellations’. She also betaed it for me. Oh and @christopherspecialneeds and @majormitchell read a lot of it too.

It was kind of weird, honestly. (Not that Will was complaining or anything, because seriously, who was he kidding? It was fucking great) Everything about it. The way it started off, how it progressed, and the fact that somehow he eventually found himself lying on top of an inactive control point long after the mission had ended and everyone was fast asleep, his legs hooked around the his BLU counterpart’s waist, and his face buried in his shoulder to keep Will from screaming bloody murder.

The entire thing was kind of implausible. It was like the higher ups were conducting some big sociopsychological (was that even a word? Will never really paid attention in high school anyhow) experiment. ‘Hey, let’s leave two nineteen year old guys, fresh outta high school, alone in the middle of a fuckin’ desert and see what they do to eachother!’ Yeah, real funny, guys. And just who were they, anyway? He heard an angry lady who sounded like she had had one too many cigarettes that day threatening to tear RED limb from limb, and supposedly the other Scout told him he’d heard the same over his earpiece. Admittedly, it worked out pretty alright for Will in the end, but in his books it was still a most fucked up thing for them to do.

For the first few days, Will kept to himself. He spent most of his time hiding inside the RED barn – fuck if he knew what kind of creature was plotting his demise in the concrete monstrosity across the way. He checked out the medbay first – it was full of syringes and IV drips and other nasty things that he didn’t want to think about being inserted into his body. The garage (the fact that the barn had a garage never failed to amaze him) was full of power tools that his dad never taught him how to use. It also contained a guitar, and oddly, a dog bed. It was only when Will realized that the barn contained absolutely no food that he decided he would finally have to man up and figuratively go to ask his neighbor to borrow a cup of sugar.

Will took his standard issue baseball bat and the gun he was given upon arrival and began running at full speed towards the BLU base. He was actually worried about the gun. Not only  did he have no idea how to fire a gun, the thing was huge for him. He had small, bony hands, and he fumbled with it just trying to hold it as he ran. He didn’t want to kill anyone. All Will wanted to do was learn how to play the guitar and start the greatest rock band in the world and maybe get Paul Mc Cartney to play bass. Maybe score some chicks on the way, too. The only reason he took the job in the first place was to help make ends meet for his mom. Having 8 kids running around tended to drill a hole in your wallet.

The first time Will met his counterpart, the BLU Scout decided it would be a most excellent idea to bash Will’s head in with a metal bat, repeatedly. It was this experience that made Will very, very thankful that respawn existed.

This happened twenty times following that instance.  It took Will seventeen more times after that to try to fully get out, ‘Okay dude look, we’re the only ones here and I’m fucking starving, if you let me die out here I’ll just respawn anyway, just let me make a sandwich or something.’

“No sneaky shit, RED.” The other Scout narrowed his eyes at Will.

Will prepared his sandwich in relative silence with a wooden baseball bat pressed firmly against the back of his head.

He decided to attempt to at least make conversation. Dustbowl got really, really lonely by yourself, and honestly, the RED barn was kind of creepy, especially at night. “Are you the only one here?”

“Yeah.” The bat didn’t move. Fuck. “No team or nothing.”

“Me neither.” Will was never really briefed on anything – intercompany relations, protocol, nothing like that. When he got off the train, a box was pressed into his arms and a door with a logo – a big red bomb with the RED logo in the center - was slammed in his face.  “Will Mathers.”

The other Scout was hesitant, and Will felt the bat press a little more against his blond curls. Was that a bad move? He was never in the army, but he had a feeling that if he wasn’t just a mercenary for a demolitions company, this would be considered ‘fraternizing with the enemy.’ He looked down from his musings and noticed that half the sandwich was gone. Turning to his BLU counterpart, he saw the shaggy haired boy with the other triangular half in hand and a shit eating grin on her face. “Teddy Gold, and seriously, man, if you ever want to not suck most heinously at Scouting, you gotta be faster than that.”

Weeks turned into months and eventually, Will found that Teddy could stand to be around him without having a giant piece of wood pressed against the back of his skull. Aside from the times when they actually had to do ‘missions’ (most of these involved Teddy playing keep away with the RED intel to keep up appearances – not that it was a big deal or anything, as apparently one time he found a pie recipe in the suitcase) , Will was really beginning to enjoy his company. He’d found out that Teddy was from New York, had a gaggle of older brothers, and his mom was dating some French guy who Teddy had extreme disdain towards. Most awesome of all, he was really into the Beatles and wanted to start a band.

They sat on top of the RED barn one night. A shipment of food had finally come into Will’s base and he found, much to his delight, a ration of ice cream popsicles. Will was regularly bored as shit when there wasn’t a mission going on (seriously, where the fuck was the rest of his team?), so he all but kidnapped Teddy from the concrete behemoth and force fed him frozen desserts to stave off the loneliness.

“Why are you here, anyway?” Will had been trying to figure out how to ask Teddy that for a while without sounding rude or condescending.

Teddy sucked on his popsicle and wiped some dripping ice cream off his hand. “You remember how I said mom’s by herself raising all of us?” Will nodded. “Yeah. My brother Alex is off in ‘Nam so he can’t really do anything to help out. So we were doing pretty bad and I had to figure out some way to help my ma out, right? Couldn’t leave her hangin’. So…you’re not gonna believe this, but I was…I guess you’d call it a runner, for these drug dealers. I guess it was a gang or whatever. We thought we were tough as hell. I was a force of nature. Nothing could touch me. Then I got caught carrying the merchandise. I got kicked out of the gang, of course, and I was basically told I could either go to jail or, the judge said, ‘make myself useful and join BLU’. And I figured…well, Alex is in ‘Nam and someone needs to help provide for mom, and the pay’s pretty good, so…here I am, I guess.” He stuck the popsicle in his mouth and finished it off, biting off the end. “What’s your deal?”

Will looked down at the ice cream pop in his hand and smiled a bit. “So I basically sucked big ones in school and I spent most of my time working on my bike, yeah? I wasn’t gonna be one of those college kids or whatever and even if I was, we wouldn’t have been able to afford it. I was…I guess I was mooching off my dad for a while because there weren’t really any jobs open back in Boston that wanted me.” He frowned a little. “Well, my dad’s in ‘Nam, too. He got drafted. And my parents got divorced, but my dad remarried this…really, really young girl. She’s gotta be in her late 20s, tops. She’s really pretty.” Will shook his head. God, he didn’t really like admitting that. He felt like a bit of a freak, even though it was only his stepmom. “So she got this letter in the mail from RED ‘cause apparently they wanted me, and I couldn’t say no to her! Plus, we needed the money. I have a little sister back home, she’s like five, and I wanna see her grow up okay, you know? I don’t want her to be a burnout like me.”

They sat in a comfortable silence, finishing up their ice cream bars.

When their teams came in, that was when it started getting pretty complicated. Will found himself in the company of another Scout who apparently liked hanging out with whales and had this name that no one in the world could pronounce.  His Medic was this American guy who wanted to start his own country inside of America and kept a pet eagle, which scared the shit out of Will because one time the damned bird took a dump on his head. The medic was good friends with the RED Soldier, who shared much of Medic’s views about America and liked to shout everything at the top of his lungs. Will had heard plenty of stories about the BLU team the night before the team missions actually started.

They had taken up their usual perch on top of the barn, a regular meeting place for them. Teddy had placed his hands by his side and spoke honestly. “Man, I’m so glad I actually got out of there today. It’s awesome to talk to someone who doesn’t end their sentences with the word ‘mate’.”

Will ran a hand through his hair, scratching behind his ear. “Who’s Australian?”

“Our Sniper.”

“Oh. “ Will anticipated a rivalry there – the RED Sniper was from New Zealand.

“Pyro’s really cool though. He’s from Japan or some shit but – get this – he’s got a tattoo of a dragon fighting a tiger on his back.” Teddy’s eyes were wide with excitement at this.

“Most exc- wait, you’ve actually seen your  Pyro?” Will was in disbelief. He wasn’t even sure if the RED Pyro showered or not.

“Yeah, all the time. He doesn’t like the suit. Or clothes. Sometimes it’s really weird but then I look at the amazing tattoo on his back and it makes it less awkward.”

“That’s pretty excellent.”

“Our Medic’s this grouchy old guy who’s addicted to healing himself and he walks with a limp. Supposedly he used to use a cane but doesn’t have to anymore. I don’t believe a word of it though. Our Heavy’s scary as shit too. He’s this big black guy from San Fransisco. San Fransisco, man. What if he turns out to be a hippie and finds out about me and tries to buy drugs off me or something?!” Teddy was obviously very worried about the idea of this – he didn’t even like thinking about drugs. His brother was in Vietnam, and that was enough to worry about as it was - he remembered when Teddy told him that he saw one guy in his gang go so crazy on…something (Will couldn’t remember the name, but it was known only by an abbreviation) that he stood outside of a diner for five hours, screaming at the top of his lungs that he had forgotten his arms.

“Do you have any drugs on you right now?” Will looked at his counterpart, raising an eyebrow.

“No way. I’m here because of that, remember?” Teddy raised his hands flat against himself.

“Then don’t worry about it.” Will waved his hand, as if he was downplaying Teddy’s worry.

They sat in silence again, but an unsettling thought suddenly came over both of their heads.

“Oh my god,” Will said, opening his mouth a little wider than usual. “We’re going to have to kill eachother.”

“Yeah…I kind of didn’t want to bring that up. Nice job, Will. A plus.” Teddy looked at him flatly, then stared at the ground awkwardly.

It really hadn’t crossed Will’s mind before. Teddy had killed him countless times before, that was true. He was a much better Scout than he was and he was way faster – it was probably from being in the gang. Will still hadn’t gotten used to holding the scattergun and he didn’t like to drink the soda that RED sent him to increase his speed – supposedly it was ‘fulla radiation’, and that set off warning sirens in his head already. But Teddy had done that before Will stopped looking at him as the faceless enemy and instead saw him as his excellent friend who happened to wear a different color t-shirt than him. He wasn’t anticipating the missions at all.

The first mission was the worst one. Will had a lot of difficulty hiding behind the barns – the BLU Sniper was just too good. He’d finally figured out where his nest was and managed to avoid it, but then the crazy nudist BLU Pyro decided it would be a good day to try to give him as many third degree burns as possible. He was getting used to the scattergun and even managed to shoot the BLU Engineer with it, point blank. He still preferred his bat, though.

Then he heard feet pounding in his direction.


A grave look spread across his face. In a panicked voice, he muttered to Teddy, stopping to ready his bat as if he was going to strike, “What do we do?”

“One of us has to do it. If we don’t someone else will.” Will could tell Teddy was doing his best to keep up appearances.

It was like the world froze for a second. Neither of them wanted to do it, but Will knew that if they deliberated any longer, a Heavy would come by and pump one of them full of bullets. So he switched weapons, really quickly, and squeezed the trigger of the scattergun once, point blank.

He stared down at Teddy’s body, which had a bullet hole in the back. Blood was oozing out of it. Even though he knew Teddy would respawn in a few seconds, the image of him, stone dead on the ground and bleeding, was like someone punched him in the gut.

It was his first kill.


“Sir…yes, sir.”

They met again on top of the barn that night, as they did every night.

“Why did you hesitate?” Teddy looked over at Will, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know.” Will turned his face away from Teddy. He felt terrible as it was, and then Teddy had to go and fucking bring that up. “I didn’t want to do it.”

“Then why did you? I would have done it, I’ve killed you countless times.”

Will frowned. “I…like I said, I don’t know. I knew that if one of us didn’t move someone would come along and kill us so I did it. Quick and easy. You hesitated too.” He looked over and saw Teddy frown. “It wasn’t like I enjoyed it or anything.”

“Well, yeah. You’re my friend, of course you didn’t.”

“It’s different now. All the other guys…you know, I get a shot on them, whatever, it’s exciting. I’m always the one getting killed. It’s never the other way around.”

“I was upset when I saw the bullet coming at me.”

“It’s like…god, this is…weird.” It was weird. Will wasn’t going to deny it, especially with what he was about to come out and say. “Back in Boston, I…I was seeing this girl for a while, Sarah. Used to take her out on my bike. She was really cute, really into me. We hit it off real well, right? Then one day I get a call from  her ma. She told me to get to the hospital as fast as I could. I almost got a ticket going over there. It turned out she had an aneurysm. Blood vessel burst in her brain, and her ma figured I would want to see her one more time before the funeral. It was scary. She didn’t have any bullet wounds or anything  like you, but you could tell that she was dead, stone dead. Her skin was graying and…it was like looking at a shell. Scary as hell.” He sighed. “It’s crazy. It’s weird as shit, because I’d never have seen this coming. At all. Was never like this before, and I don’t know if it’s the situation I’m in or what, but I basically feel like…” Will’s voice trailed off. He was having a hard time coming out with what he really wanted to say. People didn’t do this, didn’t say this, and if they did Will didn’t know anyone who would. He really didn’t know how Teddy was brought up or what he was taught to believe. He might run away, or knock him unconscious and then take him so far away that respawn wouldn’t work anymore. “Looking at your body, dead, was like watching my girlfriend die.”

Teddy didn’t run away, and he sure as hell didn’t take Will out into the desert.

It took a couple of seconds for Will to realize what was happening, but his head was being pulled forward and lips were pressed roughly against his own, but Teddy was kissing him. Teddy Gold, the BLU Scout, was kissing him. That wasn’t the part that took Will a second to register, though. What shocked Will was that he didn’t mind it at all, and actually might have even enjoyed it, regardless of how sloppy  Teddy was. His lips were chapped and he applied way too much pressure, but Will was completely fine with it and that confused the shit out of him. He didn’t know anyone who…bat for the other team, and he certainly didn’t expect himself to switch hit, but apparently the big league executive inside his mind decided that it would be a really good idea if he got traded.

Will reminded himself to stop making terrible baseball puns.

That was how he got where he was now. It was a stupid idea. He knew Teddy had no common sense, but honestly, if he was out here, trapped under Teddy on this abandoned capture point that could turn on any second, then neither did he. He wasn’t sure if this was how it was supposed to be with guys, but Teddy was kissing the air out of him and at that point he didn’t care either way. Despite what he was told about ‘queers’, despite all the rude words he’d heard about them, he turned the other cheek. This felt right. This felt…excellent.

Jun 10 '10

billspreston asked:

The warnings on the BONK can include: ingrown testicle, eurethral tapeworm, cauliflower taint, and INVOLUNTARY NARNIA.

Make of this what you will.
Jun 8 '10

Title: Contemplating Constellations

Rating: IDEK

Pairing: Will/Teddy (Scout OC/Scout OC)

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Jun 8 '10

billspreston asked:


Jun 8 '10

tedtheodorelogan-deactivated201 asked:

Something involving Demoman. Do it. Jackass.

You know, I think imma take this one.

Jun 8 '10

billspreston asked:

scout and ellis
being dicks

Jun 7 '10

billspreston asked:

hear is my new request


scout as ariel
scootmama as king triton
spy as ursula
pyro as flounder


Tentaspy has always reminded me of Ursula the Sea Witch.